I’m back again. And this time I’ll be talking about matters that are more personal; and questioning as to why particular activities happen once this minority hits South Korean soil. I think you know what I’m talking about…So firstly, I’ll say this.
What happens in Seoul, stays in Seoul.
This is the motto that many have lived by, and I’m sure many will continued to do so.What I’m about to say is purely based on what I have experienced personally, and from what others have fed back to me.Depending on your age group, culture and/or religion, (just to name a few) your life back home may be restricted within reason. As you may still be living with parents, or deemed “too young” to do particular things. I’m aware that the above statement is very sensitive, but I am saying this based on fact. I have friends from all races, ethnicities, religions and cultures. Personally, a holiday to Seoul is for me to visit my friends, go to events and go sightseeing.However for some, it’s to club every night, twerk on stage in the club *cough* NB2 *cough.* Be loud, over-sexualise themselves, and finally kiss and sleep with numerous Korean guys.With no sightseeing or cultural experiences involved. South Korea is not Ibiza or Magaluf! Why would you spend so much money to not experience the country properly?
I go away with friends so that we can have a good time and experience new things together. You know, meet people and perhaps form new friendships?
How can you actually fall out with friends over men? A man that you’ve known for less than 24 hours?
For example, I’ve heard that some people have fallen out because a man was interested in their friend, and not them. If this guy has specifically told you that he likes you as a friend, then why are you branding your friend “a hoe.”Yes, some Korean guys may find you attractive, some may not. Some like a curvier/fuller body type. However, some may not! So do not force yourselves on them.
I understand that you can have a love for the country, music culture and more; but why is it “goals” to have a Korean boyfriend?
I’m fully aware that some people get engrossed in the K-Pop community, as it is like a family. It’s something you share, and it brings so many people together. Even internationally! This is amazing and I love it. But don’t devalue yourself for the sake of your hobby/interest.
I also feel that some people become invested deeply, due to the fact that it is an escapism. You may have troubles at home, or low-self esteem. And K-Pop and the community make you feel happy and safe. It’s an outlet that can help people with these issues; but it should not become the be-all and end-all.
We need to strive further, especially as black women. “Black Women.” That’s a minority within our gender. A gender-minority that already has many stereotypes branded to us.
A personal experience I’ve had myself in Seoul, is that a guy asked me to go to a motel. Straight up. He didn’t think it was an issue. But do you see this?! Because other women/girls give off this easy impression, this is what some of them think of all of us.
I’ve had this happen on more than one occasion.
We are beautiful women that do not need to sell ourselves short, just for specific attention. So before you act, think about how this makes you look. Is the way you are acting at that particular time a true reflection of your real personality, or who you really are?Why am I acting this way? Do I have personal issues or situations that I’d like to discuss with friends, or a family member?